It seems like life has made a boomerang out of you.
YOU ENTERED THE MINISTRY FIELD WITH A BAG FULL OF COURAGEOUS INTENTIONS, ONLY TO FIND YOURSELF NOW CRASH LANDING WHERE YOU STARTED.
except...
YOU’RE NOT WHERE YOU STARTED AT ALL. BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT THE SAME YOU. YOUR BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ARE WEATHERED BY YOUR EXPERIENCE AND YOU’RE UNSURE OF WHAT IT ALL MEANS FOR YOUR LIFE NOW.
I’m Mallory.
I help exhausted leaders unpack their ministry experiences and find renewed clarity and confidence for the road ahead.
Does this sound like you?
At this point, you’ve tried talking to friends, reading self-help books, scouring through all your pictures in your host country, making detailed notes of *exactly* what went down and how you ended up here, what got you there-all those tips and tricks that have gotten you through transition in the past:
NEGATIVE…
You catch yourself darting between should haves, could haves, and would haves until you’re exhausted. You feel like you’ve let everyone down-donors, leaders, your teammates, and even God. (...and who/what even is God at this point?)
…FEEDBACK
ALL the questions-about leadership, past decisions, values, and FUTURE. What future? The vision you once had for the future has become a black hole sucking the life out of you, and it seems as though everyone around you is just as uncomfortable with your lack of direction as you are (but no pressure).
LOOP…
REVERSE CULTURE SHOCK adds to the ensemble, causing you to miss the organizational culture you’ve left, become easily irritated at people who’ve never experienced other cultures, and wondering why no one sees the value of cleaning their behind with water after going to the bathroom.
I see those passion-stained shoes of yours.
I KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO MANAGE THE MESS AFTER A COMPLICATED TRANSITION FROM HOST COUNTRY TO “HOME.” I’VE DISCARDED AND REPURPOSED A DREAM OR TWO ON THE ROCKY TRAILS OF UNCERTAINTY.
cut to...FALL 2018.
I found myself gazing at scenes from Keeping up with the Kardashians (guilty pleasure, must admit) on my gramma’s kitchen TV. Taking a bite of a sandwich, I said aloud: “This is my life now…eating sandwiches and watching the Kardashians.” I laughed until I realized I was crying. The hope that had carried me to Kolkata left me sobbing into a sandwich while Kim and Kourtney bickered over their billion dollar business ventures.
It’s a sad, slightly comical picture, isn’t it? There were so many scenes thereafter that involved an internalized pressure to craft an equally compelling vision (i.e. “maybe I could start a record label for this nonprofit”). And don’t get me started on all of the sleepless nights tossing and turning and trying to think my way out of it all.
At this point I have some perspective on what healed and what hurt in the transition, and one thing’s for certain: thinking your way out of the clutter and overwhelm in your head by yourself ain’t gonna cut it.
WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THAT YOU ARE NOT DISQUALIFIED FROM LEADING A LIFE OF MEANING AND PURPOSE JUST BECAUSE THIS ONE PARTICULAR VISION DIDN’T WORK OUT?
my approach
“You must be in grief, too,” a dear friend said to me a few months after my return. This acknowledgement doused my soul with sweet relief that I simply didn’t know I needed. “Yes,” I thought. “Finally someone said it.”
Any transition, whether big or small, requires a season of grief. There’s a variety of resources out there about reentry but few acknowledge the very real loss that you are bound to feel at this point. Whether your work overseas was cut short or not, you are simply not the same person you were before you left. And this kind of change is just…*sighs*...hard.
Those said resources will give you great little drawings on the stages of reentry, encouraging you to journal and “word” your way through it.
that's cute, but....They fall short and rely too heavily on left brain thinking, and in my experience, it’s all too easy to get stuck in your head.
My holistic approach uses compassionate dialogue and practical body-based exercises that help you heal from unresolved moments, reconnect with your intuition and embrace your unique leadership journey with joy and confidence.
full disclosure... The present is not perfect. I’m still a work in progress (aren’t we all?). But I can say without a doubt that I have come out the other side of transition more grounded and wiser for the ware. I give my intuition more of a chance in the waves of change.
AND I AM CONSISTENTLY RECLAIMING JOY FROM MY SEASON OVERSEAS.
CREDENTIALS
Certified life coach with over 100 logged coaching hours and proud member of ICF
BA in Psychology from the University of Puget Sound (Hack, hack, chop, chop!)
First Aid Arts Responder
Mental Fitness Coach through Positive Intelligence®
10 years experience in cross-cultural incarnational ministry and leadership development
I’m here to tell you there’s beauty and joy on the other side, friend.
quirky facts a la carte I can find a movie quote or a song lyric for just about any situation (friends shake their heads)
I’ve once described my soul as the landscape of the Pacific Northwest, and while we’re on the subject, I lived in Vancouver, BC over the course of nine years, but I’m not quite Canadian yet. **crosses fingers**
My mornings are best started by a cup of coffee from my favorite roastery, Civic Roasters, otherwise I might be a bit of a grump.
My parents tell me that I came out of the womb singing. I’m constantly songwriting with my trusty piano, and that is one thing that really helped in my adjustment back home. Because who doesn’t need some good creative catharsis?
On the previous note (hehe-see what I did there), I cut my teeth in the studio with my siblings on the first few Kidz Bop records (You may have heard of Kidz Bop, or wish you didn’t). As soon as some of my buddies found this out, they immediately started calling me Boppy and it stuck. (*rolls eyes* but secretly loves it).
I will never shy away from a good cup of Bengali style cha (extra ginger please). The process of making it and sipping it helps me feel connected to this complicated and beautiful part that my season in India plays in my story.